What I find myself doing…

Typical Monday night. Finding an excuse not to do the things that I am supposed to be doing. Evading all types of responsibilities yet knowing that that might have serious consequences. Knowing that what I do or fail to do today will not matter in a couple of years. I find myself thinking and writing the usual, without much to say about my life. Listening. Listening to the usual depressing music. The words seem to flow with no actual meaning. I should just stop all this nonsense. I can’t. Closing my eyes and remembering. It’s a matter of nostalgia, knowing that I am lucky to exist. Taking deep breaths, trying to take my minds off the thoughts that invade me right now. No signs of stopping. I decide to look up a word. The meaning: an act or period of shedding tears or shedding tears as the result of a strongly felt emotion. The word: cry. That’s what I find myself doing right now…crying…as usual...